Disclaimer: The usual - all things belong to Joss
Summary: We know that Angelus was capable of so much more than
what he visited upon Buffy...what was going on in his head, anyway?
"You've really got a yen to hurt this girl, haven't you?” Spike said in
"She made me feel human being. That's not the kind of thing you just
forgive," Angelus replied with a more than a touch of impatience. Honestly, what did Spike think? That he would want to move in with the
Slayer and start building a white picket fence? Although, he supposed that’s
what Spike had always been trying to do with Dru…a vamp version of a white
"I see pretty, pretty blood running through her lovely hair…like a river
"Be just like old times," murmured Angelus. He wondered how much
Drusilla had already ‘seen’. Spike was oblivious - he always thought that his
way was the only way though Angelus could never understand how a poet had
become so rough and tumble. One would have thought that Spike, of all people,
would understand why he liked to do things with artistry. A bit of flair, so to
speak. Half of the enjoyment came from
seeing someone suffer with the waiting, and knowledge, of what was to come.
Just imagining Buffy's face was already making him quiver with
excitement. How he could play with her, torment her, make her wait for the
death she knew would come upon everyone she loved.
Angelus looked up only to encounter Drusilla's knowing eyes. "Just
like old times..." she murmured back at him, languidly lifting her hand to
her forehead. She slowly seemed to float towards him as though she was trying
to hold back her own memories. Angelus sometimes wondered if it had been a huge
mistake to send her around the bend.
The whole ‘seeing thing’ could have been more useful if she had her
senses still. That’s why he had to careful with the Slayer…more careful than he
had been with Drusilla. Think more long term.
He needed to concentrate. His first move had to be a statement for their
future. What would bring the most pain? Young girl head over heels in love and
just giving up her virginity. He chuckled under his breath. Yes...it was
perfect. The hurt would be so great it would take her breath away and he would
be able to hear her heart skip a beat, and her blood stop flowing, for just
that one second. A small death, a beautiful orgasm of pain. He stood up, joy
singing through his heart, as he hurried towards the bed that had held them in
such disgusting love just hours ago.
He would get to the friends. Always start with the nearest and
dearest. It's so exquisite watching a human go slowly mad with grief. And this
time it won't be just any human - it will be a Slayer, THE Slayer, his Slayer.
His smile widened and his step was that much lighter with the sudden freedom
that came with a clear sense of purpose. He walked in and lightly touched her
"You don't want to kill her, do you? You want to hurt her. Just like you
He had been right. Drusilla had ‘seen’ his plan right off the bat. His every
thought, between vicious kills, was creating a scenario where Buffy’s pain
would be his forever. He finally had to admit that he wanted to turn her. She
could take the place of Darla - a better bargain in his opinion since he would
finally be the older and stronger in a relationship. No, he did not just say
the word "relationship". Not that. It would be a sire/power thing.
Spike was his usual annoying self with no
vision whatsoever. Kill her, indeed. What a waste that would be. Didn't he even
realize that he would have Slayer blood on tap forever? Only a fool like Spike
would think to kill in such a situation. So things went a little south with the
Judge episode. He had honestly thought that a part of California inhabited with
only the unrighteous would be fun - would have sent the Slayer over the edge
and right into his arms.
Instead, he had to deal with her blow to his nether regions. But it
had actually warmed his cockles, so to speak, seeing that she had got her
confidence back. Made the game that much more interesting. After all, who wants
a wimpy, weepy Slayer in the end? Look at Dru - no, he wanted a spitfire when
she was turned. All angry and mean. Much more fun.
So...what to do next. Buffy would be super protective of her little club now.
He grimaced as he noticed he was actually thinking in "Buffy speak".
Little wench had really got to the soul. He, unfortunately, could feel the residue
of love coursing through him every time he thought of her. It was distracting
and kind of...itchy! Made him want to run around the room and scream but that
was much too undignified for a master vampire.
He would work her out his system the old fashioned way. Destroy
her, and then build her up as his very own work of art - one that would be
displayed in his bed one day if he had his way. And he would. So it would have
to be someone out of her immediate circle then. One of the many hormone addled
teenagers hanging around that school and then send them with a message of
"love" to Buffy. He felt elation running through him at the thought
of how guilty Buffy would feel.
Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered
Angelus placed the still beating heart down on the table for Dru, smirking at
Spike as he did so. Really, Spike was such a ridiculous romantic. His mind was
barely on what Spike was saying but he meant what he had said about wanting to
do things "with poetry". Better than what he did with Dru. He wanted
to be able to show off Buffy when he was done. Have his accomplishment retold
over the centuries - a story truly worthy of telling. Thus the sending of the
roses. His smile widened at the thought of her wanting to keep the flowers
close to her, wishing that they had come from Angel and a little excited that
they had come from Angelus. He knew his Slayer and her yen for danger.
So what would speak to Buffy's heart at this point? She would be well and truly
armed and warned by that pesky Watcher of hers by now. So he might as well go
for it and take one of her ‘scoobies’. Someone that she would be willing to
hand her life over for. Her mother would be perfect...he would go in tonight
and take her. And if he happened to run across his Slayer in her bed then he
might take advantage of that too. Sweet, dreaming Buffy would probably not even
realize it wasn't Angel before he had taken her. He had heard her call the
soul's name in her sleep as he waited outside her house at night. How delicious
it would be to sink into her while hearing her breathe the name of the man she
had killed. His steps quickened just as his blood did at the very thought.
It was time to admit that maybe he had a small problem here. Just a small one,
nothing he couldn't deal with. But he had nearly lost it with jealousy when he
had gone to Buffy's room and found Xander in it. Just when he was about to
break the whelp's neck, he realized that there was another woman in the room
and, along with everything else, there was magic in the air.
But there must be some bit of Angel still inside him because his
first thought was for Buffy's safety. How sick was that? He literally could
feel his last meal working its way back up just thinking about it. Maybe he
should track down that gypsy woman and find out what the hell was going on with
his soul or lack thereof. Because he could not recall actually feeling any fear
for Darla's safety at any point in the past. If he didn't watch out he would
end up in some quasi-human emotional state like that twat, Spike. He could
strangle Dru right now for having stopped him from killing Xander. Not that it
would do any good since Dru wouldn't die but it would certainly make him feel
better. He swore under his breath. This obsession was starting to beget mini
obsessions of its own. This had to stop.
Last night was proof of that. He had spent the whole night deep in thought
about Buffy and his plan for her future. He had to have her. He had come to
that conclusion and it shamed him deeply. The original plan to kill her friends
and turn her had been to have a new playmate, one that he could have bragged
about. But, now, he was willing to admit that he wanted her with him and he
wanted her all to himself. He would have to ditch Spike and Dru when she was turned.
And he needed to do it quickly before he completely lost it. He
had sat beside her, just touching her, and felt a strange peace that he had
never felt since being turned. It made him sick and yet...he was incapable of
hurting her last night. Left her a drawing telling her of that weakness.
What was the matter with him? He was losing his ever-loving mind -
no, he was another version of Spike and Buffy was becoming his Dru. It was
pathetic. He bore up and took a deep breath. He had to stop this sickness that
was spreading inside him. What was Dru going on about anyway?
"...help to destroy our happy home" Dru held her head in her hands
What was the crazy bint on about now? The Slayer and her crew were trying to
resoul him? He felt his anger coming up and consuming him. He hadn't killed a
single person around her and she dared to try to murder him? Should have killed
her right off the bat that night in Angel's apartment. Well, can't say he
hadn't been forewarned. Look at how Spike gets treated for all his loving
kindness to Drusilla. And now he was in the same position - it was enough to
make his blood boil. First, though, a quick visit to Buffy's house to let her
know that all bets were off. No more flowers or free passes.
"Sorry, Angel. Changed the locks."
Angelus looked on in horror as Buffy slammed her door in his face. The
bitch...and after he didn't even touch her mother. He had just been letting her
know that Buffy was his and no one else's, not her family or her friend's. The
gloves were off and she had the gall to treat him with this disrespect.
He walked away and down the street, his
bitterness quickly turning into malice. Where would Giles's little love be
right now? There was no way he was being turned back into that whiny soul
version, Angel. And he would be happy to take that little schemer out of the
way. He was even a little upset on behalf of his souled half. How had Angel not
caught on that the teacher was one of the Gypsy's? He turned into the school as
he caught a whiff of his prey and a smile ripped across his face.
"...NO!" cried out Willow.
Angelus smiled as he lovingly watched the pain and guilt spread across Buffy's
face. And he felt the power flow over him as the rage washed away. Buffy
couldn't help her human tendencies; after all, she was human. But he could and
would. He would still have her but he would wipe out these uncomfortable
feelings for her that Angel had left behind in him, like a disease that was
threatening to kill him. He left her, crying, and her beauty caused him to want
to tear up. It was like seeing a timeless piece of art. And it all was all his.
"If you ask me, I find myself preferring the old Buffy-whipped Angelus.
This new and improved version is not playing with a full sack."
Angelus spun around as Spike voiced his greatest fear. That he really was
infected permanently and was never going to be the Angelus of old. He responded
to Spike with bluster just as the Watcher surprised him. Really surprised him.
Where was Buffy? She was supposed to come so that they could have this out once
and for all. Get it over with.
Ah - there she is. He could feel the sexual thrill and fear all
flow through him at once. There was nothing like it. He could smell her
excitement and hear her blood flowing. The pain, the tears, the fear...he
wanted to lay her down and just eat her in every way possible. But he was going
to have to run right now as she was too strong with her emotion. And there was
no way he would have his way with her with all of these witnesses, especially
Killed By Death
His blood roiled in frustration. They were around her again. He had been
following her looking for the opportunity for them to be private. So that her
dying and rebirth could be his alone. And now he thought he had her only to
have that noisy bunch of humans interrupt. Oh well, nothing stopping him from
enjoying his evening and working off some energy. He rushed Buffy only to find
that she was not on top of her game. And his thoughts were not going to killing
He disappeared into the night as the
bunch of weaklings fought him off with a cross but stopped as he heard Buffy
fall to the ground. Well, this was interesting…and possibly an opportunity? He
followed closely and watched her disappear into the hospital. Hmmm...not like
he didn't know his way around that building. It was always the popular place
for an easy meal. Perhaps some flowers for his past and future lover? And
wouldn't it be fun to taunt her friends with his ability to walk into a public
building. He chuckled under his breath and wandered back to the graveyard to
pick up some roses worthy of Buffy. White...yes, white for purity and
innocence. It was almost...poetic.
I Only Have Eyes for You
Sickening...he felt rather violated. And the worst part was that, when Buffy
first told him that he was the only one, he felt a burst of pleasure course
through him. It would be mutual when he turned her. That feeling would
translate over to her life as a vampire and she would be all his. Then he had
come to his senses before she guessed how he was feeling and had tried to get
back in full form when he had felt himself overcome by the same magic.
And it had been nauseating. Like he was Angel all over again and
she had been his whole reason for living. He scrubbed as hard as he could - it
was over. He was never going to win this the way things were. He needed to make
a big change to this whole town - one that would put him in charge and keep him
on track to getting back to the Angelus of old. Where Spike would look at him
in fear again instead of the pity stare he could feel at his back at this
moment. He was tired of not having control. And that kiss had been him not in
control. He needed a vile kill, now, then a lightning round with Dru and then
he was going to find a way to take the power from the Slayer back into his
hands. Something where she would be completely at his mercy. Ahhh...a plan. He
nurses the feeling and reaches for his shirt.
"Why, Miss Summers. You're beautiful!"
Shit - why didn't he just take out an ad and announce his intentions? What was
the matter with him? He continued to spit out the disgusting fluid that was
passing as blood in the boy's body. Buffy was looking at him oddly and he
couldn't blame her. He quickly melted into the shadows leaving her to deal with
whatever the boy was. He had better things to do with his time and didn't want
to chance ruining his plans for her with any accidents. He didn't want either
of them to die right before the future fell into place.
He smiled as he thought of her always holding back from that final
plunge of a stake into his heart. She used to be sure of her kill and he used
to be sure of his evil intentions. She was as confused as him and that was some
consolation for his weary mind and heart.
Watching her kill his kind. He was certifiable. Honestly, it was a little like
pride he was feeling and he supposed that was all right. She was going to be
the best vampire ever turned and watching her now just impressed that on him.
Dru was keeping him busy at night but he could barely wait to have Buffy again.
Not that he would be sharing that bit of knowledge with anyone,
anytime. It was bad enough that he knew it about himself. And it was horrifying
to acknowledge that he had spent a lot of time knowing that, if she would let
him, he would be more than happy to have her right now, humanity and all.
Fortunately, that wasn't an option as far as he could tell! He might never find
the strength to turn her if he could have all that warm blood on tap.
"Soon, it will scream." Finally, Dru has come through for him. He
knew he kept her around for a reason. This was exactly what he needed. The
world would be hell and he would be back into his reality. And Buffy would be
turned just in time to stay with him. She would be his greatest trophy. No more
trying to deal with her on her turf - it would be his world she would be in.
All he had to do was keep her busy until then and out of his way. He sighed.
How hard could that be, anyway?? Right, very difficult.
But, in the end, it would all be worth it and he could have a sort
of peace - as much as he wanted, anyway. She would be a pistol! He grinned to
himself and looked up to the confused stares of Spike and Dru. First things
first, he had to get a vampire to follow Buffy around to be sure that she
didn't get in the way until he needed her.
"I don't have time for you." He really didn't. Though he
had to love it when she asked him to save her a seat to hell. What an odd girl,
really. Didn't she realize that this was all for her in the first place? No -
she didn't. And this fight to the death was merely foreplay since he didn't
plan on actually allowing her die entirely and she had to know that the sword
wasn't going to kill him. But her beauty while she fought him was taking his
breath away. He smiled at her and pictured her beneath him...all this fierce
goodness his for the taking. And jumped out of the way as she fought her way
back from the corner he had backed her into. So very, very beautiful in her
sincerity and he loved her so...what??? The pain spread through him as eternity began to be ripped away….