AFTER ALL, THEY SHOOT HORSES, DON”T THEY?
Summary: Everyone deserves a meltdown, even slayers! Angel comes by and causes one.
After reading all the lovely rants about the episode where Angel turned up at the end of Buffy – I thought I would rewrite. I know that it is not too original. Please forgive.
Rating: M (references to sex)
Time line – Just after Buffy kills Caleb while Angel watched - so end of Season Seven.
All kudos to Joss and Company – the ones who make secret movies, obviously.
AFTER ALL, THEY SHOOT HORSES, DON”T THEY?
Buffy felt the comfort seep through her body as she was wrapped in Angel’s arms. She could almost taste the familiar memory of turning to Angel after vanquishing the foe. She reached up for his kiss and was rewarded with his mouth covering hers – his lips speaking a story of long ago. The heat which always existed between them, flared up, and she leaned further into Angel’s body. He reacted instantly by pulling her into him harder...almost tasting of desperation...
Wait....Bad Buffy. Why was Angel here – what was he doing just standing around watching her kill things? Didn’t he have Cordy and a baby and a whole happy, shiny life that didn’t include her or any picnics of any sort? That’s what Spike had told her last year. It had brought on a rather spectacular sort of “I wish I had not been brought back” sex. And there we go...thinking of being with Spike while in Angel’s arms...ewww
Abruptly, she stepped back causing Angel to stagger slightly and reach for her. SexyBuffy did the revenge dance knowing she could still affect Angel like that. SensibleBuffy calmly eyed Angel, wondering for the thousandth time why she could feel Angel differently than other vampires. Always a connection. And even more since he had taken so much blood from her that time.... a tidbit she had never shared with Giles. Too much worry over what he would have done to Angel. A real fear, considering his actions towards Spike lately. And there we are – back to Spike - it’s like a mental blip of some sort that automatically resets to evil, soul getting, irritating, sexy...focus....Angel is here...why?
She opened her mouth to get Angel to do the splainy when they both turned towards the feeling of another vampire. Just in time to see Spike appear from the shadows. Taking the metaphor a little far in her opinion. Figures. This was her life. Kill the woman hating freak, save the world and what did she get? Her worst freaking nightmare, that’s what. She really, really had to talk with the Powers that Be at some point about their rewards program. It sucked. She was pretty sure she had already filled the lifetime quota of “two of your lovers meet and beat each other senseless then move right on to torturing you”.
She felt the flush work itself up her neck, as she stood between her two vampires, who were currently eyeing each other with less than friendly interest. Great. Just great. Spike had seen her with her tongue down Angel’s throat. This was going to end well...not. She couldn’t afford to lose Spike....he was, well, here for her... no, here for the fight. Yes, that was it. And Angel would leave again. He always did. She had to make this better somehow. The universe’s answer to that thought was for it all to get worse, as Angel recovered from his surprise at seeing Spike appear like some sort of blond version of himself – leather coat and all.
“What are you doing here, Spike?”
“Don’t have to answer to you, Angelus. We all know what you are doing here. Time for your annual “rip the Slayers heart out and stomp it into the ground” gig? Be on your way soon? It’s a real pleasure for me to pick up the pieces of your women, as usual”.
How does Spike make one word sound so dirty, wondered Buffy – also for the thousandth time. Spike had got all territorial with the word “pleasure”, curling his tongue in that nasty way and making it real, real clear that Buffy had done the dirty with him. And now she was one of ‘Angel’s women’? Nice. It had been a lifelong ambition to be part of the Darla and Drusilla crowd.
Buffy swore she could actually see Angel’s blood boil as he swung into action across the room, managing to take out Spike before he even had time to get out of the way. Cause he really, really should have known how Angel would react to that lovely, little speech. She calmly admired the way Spike flew nicely across the room, hitting the wall with a thud, and sliding down onto the floor. But he bounced up and went for Angel.....okay, enough of this. This was sort of voyeuristic and going to the naughty place in her head. She reached out and grabbed Spike around the neck, causing him to swing towards her in surprise.
“Come on, love – let me have at him for you. You deserve better than this”.
“I deserve you, you mean.”
“Well....yeah. At least, I never leave you....other than that time I left you. But it was only to get a soul for you. Won’t leave you again.” Spike’s soulful, sincere look of love was a bit much for her at this particular moment. One vampire who won’t stay and one who won’t go away. Aw, look, Buffy is a poet and...
Angel jumped down Spike’s throat before Buffy had a chance to sort out that verbal cocktail of guilt, obsession and general emotional blackmail.
“You dare touch her again and I’ll kill you, Spike. I mean it. You don’t take advantage of my girl with your lies about getting a soul - just so you could get in her pants.
That really was too much. Damn vampires and their sense of smell. If she ever reached the ripe, old age of 25, would every vampire still be able to smell the truth – that she really was Buffy, the Vampire Layer? Though she had to admit it had helped in more than one fight. Sort of threw them off midway, to realize that fighting her wasn’t the only option! And it never stopped being funny as she staked them half way through their pick up line.
Buffy reached down deep within her for some form of dignity and turned to Angel.
“How dare you? You left me here and he didn’t leave, ok? Turns out Buffy and real boys aren’t too mixy. I need a strong partner and he was here. And he really tried at it.” She trailed off.
She did not think she had ever seen Angel quite as flummoxed as he appeared to be right now and Spike was clearly enjoying the moment, and hurt at her words. His malicious grin was out in full force though, as he nearly skipped about Angel. No, actually he was standing in front of Angel in full frontal battle stance. Eh...same thing really. It was all in his tone, as usual.
“Hear that, you poof. You can just go on your merry, little way.”
“Shut up, Spike.” Buffy was exhausted now that she had used up her current supply of self respect. Being thrown out of your own home by your family and friends, while battling earth ending bad guys, was enough to do her in at the best of times. But having two former vampire boyfriends in front of you at the same time was just sheer torture on the Buffy scale of misery. Did she just call Spike a boyfriend? Nuts.
“I am just so tired.” she moaned and leaned against the column in front of her. She felt like hugging it though she knew her Slayer strength was still coursing through her. That was weird. Must be all the stress, she thought, with a small giggle. Somewhere inside she knew that she was possibly having a mini breakdown. Whatever.
She concentrated on the small stream of blood trickling between her feet that heralded what was left of Caleb. Wow – there was probably some big, fat metaphor in that. What were these things on her feet anyway? She had grabbed them on her way out the front door, from the ever growing assortment of footwear in her house. Scratch that, not her house anymore....huh, they had nowhere to live now. Good thing there were empty houses everywhere. Wait...why was she planning for her and Spike to stay together? Jeez...could her life get any more complicated. Wait...yes, it could – right in front of her, in fact. Concentrate Buffy.
She looked up to find two very confused, hurt and testosterone laden men – er, vampires, maybe manpires? She giggled again. She really had to get Andrew out of her head. Hey! There was an upside to getting tossed from her own home....no more Andrew and his stupid stories and stupid camera and just well...stupid. Huh...Angel and Spike were still there, staring at her with “great concern” on their faces.
“What – haven’t you ever seen a Slayer have a mental break before? So many Buffys. Warrior Buffy, Lecture Buffy, Sexy Buffy, Sensible Buffy, Abandoned Buffy....”
She started to laugh as they looked at each other. It was really too funny. It appeared that the only way to stop them fighting each other was for her to have some sort of emotional breakdown. They both stepped towards her as she continued her laughter – leaning over her brand new axe thingy. Angel reached her first – holding her into his side.
“Safe to say we both have, pet.”
Right – there it was. Trust Spike to unearth past nasty memories. She could feel Angel harden his grip on her left arm as Spike’s jibe at his Angelus days of torturing her came through unspoken. Cause, you know...Spike had never tried to kill her. Oh no.
They each had a side of her now and were trying to aim her towards a rock. Presumably to sit her down and tend to the invalid. Oh no. None of that. She started to struggle only to find they both strengthened their grips. Buffy let go – not cause she couldn’t win. She just didn’t feel like fighting with them at the moment. Girl Power curled up beside her and died.
They placed her on the surface and Angel reached to take her new toy. Buffy reared back with it in her hand and gave him the look of death.
“Uhhh...not trying to steal it, Buffy.” Angel was using his gentle voice. Like maybe one you would use with a baby. She was not a baby, dammit.
“I know. Don’t know why, but I want to keep it. It kind of tingles under my fingers. It’s neat.”
Both of her vampires shared a pained but frustrated look – likely number 101 in the ‘Manpire in Love with A Slayer Handbook’. Buffy imagined a book written by the two of them about being in love with a Slayer. Precautions, warnings and advice for other vampires thinking of doing the same. She started laughing again....really, what else was there to do?
Spike rounded on Angel. “This is not good. Seen this before. Don’t want her going all catatonic on us. Need her ready to fight. Just leave, you bugger.”
“Like being around you is going to help her. I’m not leaving when something big is obviously going down.”
Buffy thought that maybe going catatonic wasn’t such a bad idea at the moment. But she forced herself to stop giggling and look at the two of them.
“Shut up, both of you. I just maybe need some rest and less drama. I have just been fired from being Slayer in Charge , had a showdown with the Big Bad and now you two. It’s just, you know...too much. “
She lifted her hands up weakly and gave them the eyes of pain. There. Now maybe they would leave her alone for a bit. Actually, she really did want a big, comfy bed. And maybe some yummy food.....and someplace where there was no noise. Yes....especially that last part. She wanted lots and lots of quiet. Spike moved to her side and put his arm around her. Now she was sandwiched between them. Mmmm...wouldn’t that just be lovely...bad, bad, bad thoughts.
“Well find you another house, luv. Somewhere with a nice big, bed for you.”
“What’s the matter with her house? What does she mean she was fired? Nobody can fire a Slayer” Angel asked Spike, obviously giving up on the idea that giggly Buffy would come up with any sensible answers.
“The friends and family you abandoned her to threw her out the other night. Big Bad is turning up and affecting everyone.”
“We could go to my house”, Angel mumbled, barely able to look at Buffy allowing Spike to hold her.
“What was that, you prat? YOUR house? Yeah, cause that would be all sorts of peaceful for her....absolutely nothing bad ever happened there!”
Buffy looked up at Angel and he looked down – he never could talk with her about that time. Why not, she wondered? It was everyone else who had suffered...though she supposed Angel had suffered after he came back. Knowing he had done all that stuff. But still....what better time than an Apocalypse to discuss her abandonment and relationshipy issues?
“So how come you hated me when you were Angelus? Spike fell in love with me when he was still evil. How come you couldn’t love me even a little bit? You know, like enough to not kill Jenny?” She could hear the little girl in her voice and hated it.
Maybe she had gone evil a little bit. That would explain her behaviour right now.
Spike crowed in absolute glee beside her. “Yeah, Peaches...how come you couldn’t love our girl here?”
Angel stiffened beside her – looking at Buffy as though she had just turned in to the Big Bad herself. Got to remember to tell him about that. That she was turning up as not herself these days. Of course, he would likely welcome that news and write this whole situation off as it not actually being her!
She felt a sigh go through Angel as he responded to her.
“I did love you, Buffy, even when I was Angelus. He wanted to turn you in the end. Be with him. But you weren’t exactly cooperating.”
“Just like Drusilla, you mean. Driving her mad and then playing with her like a toy. Real love there, you sod.” Spike reposted.
“NO! Not like that. Wanted her to, you know, be....” Angel trailed off.
“Your what...queen of the night at your side?” Spike prodded. Buffy imagined this was better than anything Spike could have dreamed up on his own. Finally getting to show her that Angel was no good.
But Angel only looked up sheepishly at Buffy. Sort of like she ought to find comfort in what he had just said. Guess in Angelus’ world it was better than a plan to shishkebob her. Queen of the night. Huh. She pictured herself and Angelus taking over Sunnydale....what the heck was wrong with her. Bad Buffy. Slayer. Must remember to fight evil!
“I did send you black roses, Buffy...remember? It’s just that, right off the bat it was sort of appalling to find that I was all romantic with the Slayer. And we had...you know...”
“Boffed... with birdies tweeting around you? Give it up, Angel. Think the girl knows you were no blushing virgin.”
“Shut up, Spike”, both Angel and Buffy, while looking at each other. How could Spike have known about those words? And...well, Angel may not have been a blushing virgin, but he sure had known how to treat her, since she had been just that. It had been very, very, very good. She felt herself flushing at the memory and knew it would be sensed by both of them. Darn it – no thinking of sexy Angel times.
Angel moved down on his knees beside her, and he reached for her hand. Ok. She hadn’t really ever pictured it going down like this but she wanted to hear whatever he had to say. Spike’s snorted on the other side of her. Nice.
“Not really how I ever wanted to talk about this, Buffy. But Angelus was just really angry at first and then he got to thinking. You know, he found out that we had got quite a fearsome reputation together. And some...uh...of the evil sort, kind of...well, thought having a Slayer at my command was quite a feat for a vampire. So we started to think that having you turned would be even more amazing. And we wanted you... but you weren’t going for that.”
Huh. Buffy had stared at Angel’s head during that whole spiel as he couldn’t seem to look at her. But he was holding her hand something fierce. Guess soul wrenching conversations not really his thing. That hadn’t changed. But the “we” part was new. Wonder if he knows he even said that?
“And I got some swampland in Florida....”Spike started.
“Shut up, Spike”. Well, there was one thing they saw eye to eye on, she guessed. She leaned back on Spike and put her hand on Angel’s head. He looked at her in surprise then leaned down to kiss her hand. Spike groaned beside her, but she knew this was simply Angel’s way. Ever the courtly gentleman.
“Look. If it’s all the same to you two, I really would like to find someplace not so cold and not a tunnel. Get some rest.” Buffy was really, really done with yet another gut-wrenching conversation in a tunnel. Angel and her really had to find a theme song or something to replace this tunnel motif they had going.
“I wasn’t kidding about my house. It’s being fixed up since...I had...uh...the money....and I have something that may help with this Evil thing.” Angel was looking all secrety again. Buffy sighed. Some things would never change and she figured she didn’t really care so much if they did. She just wanted to have Angel around for awhile. And he was apparently offering to be around for awhile. So there was that. She stepped up, and out of both of their reaches, and turned around to look at them.
“All right. But afterwards you will explain about the house and the baby. And Spike comes with us. Need all the fighting power we can get right now.”
Angel looked downright pained and Spike wasn’t far behind.
“My memories of that house aren’t the greatest either, Slayer. And not in the mood to watch you two play footsies.”
“Didn’t invite you, Spike.”
“Angel...Spike and I are a package deal these days. Sorry, but the whole human guy thing didn’t turn out so well for me. Cause...you know...not so human, myself. And Spike, if there are any footsies being played, you can play too.”
The uncomfortable look that passed between Angel and Spike was not something Buffy had expected. Huh. She had expected attempted physical violence at her comment – not this. And then SexyBuffy came out to play in her head. It’s not like she hadn’t dreamt of it before. There could be oil of some sort involved!
She stood up and walked towards the beginning of the tunnels, then heard their footsteps behind her. Maybe she was a Special Slayer. One that had vampires falling in love with her as part of some prophecy? That would sure simple things up, if it was a prophecy or something. Didn’t the Big Bad, back in the days of torturing Angel, say something about “together you are strong?” But now she had no Watcher to ask. Maybe Angel could ask Wesley to look? She would really have to sort this out at some point. But only after a very long bubble bath. And a big, comfy bed. Then she would get to it. Or, you know, maybe...not?